Driving the BMW X1 took me back in time – to more than a decade ago in fact. No, not because it feels antiquated in any way, but because it reminded me of a motion picture named 12 Monkeys – an old movie, by today’s standards, and also one that had me all confused and scalp-scratching at the time. A good friend of mine – a bloke whose sense of understanding I respect – suggested that I watch this movie because of the sheer brilliance of its massive star cast. It starred the then heartthrob-for-ladies, Bruce Willis, and an actor who would also go on to become serious eye-candy for women the world over, Brad Pitt. But, I’m a guy, and was rather more inclined towards Madeleine Stowe, who played the character of Kathryn Railly in the film. She was charming.

But it wasn’t even Madeleine who enticed me into watching the movie. At first, it was the poster. So, my friend and I sat down to watch the movie, and when it was done, I tried to match his enthusiasm – managing brilliantly fake exclamations of thrill, and doing my best to sound impressed – even though I had no bloody clue of what I had just seen. It made no sense, because the film had everything going for it – an awesome poster, Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, and Ms. Charming. So, when he left, I sat down wondering why on earth I had wasted precious hours of my life. But, instead of letting it go, I watched again and again – and then again a few more times.

With every viewing, and investing hours on end, it all started to come together. Random thoughts about the movie would fill up my mind at odd hours, and the combined result was that it wasn’t as weird as I first thought it to be. In fact, it wasn’t a weird movie at all. It was actually quite impressive to be honest. The BMW X1 has the same problem. At first, it can come across as a little weird, and you’re not sure what to make of it. But, then it all begins to make sense and you end up quite impressed.

Anyway, I was really looking forward to the X1, in much the same way as you anticipate a visit to a relatively unexplored beach – much like Devbagh actually, along the western coastline of India. But, because Goa is just a stone’s throw away from Devbagh, and is much more popular, most people go there instead. If you decide to go to Devbagh, it would make you different, probably more interesting, and therefore, most likely, more intriguing to talk to.

Devbagh is a serene and simple place – the sound of the waves has a calming effect on you. And it’s brilliant. The BMW X1 is the automotive equivalent of Devbagh. It’s a much more interesting alternative to the reigning champions in the crossover space, and therefore you’d want to get to know it better too. There are many options in this space of course, but none of them really live up to expectation. The space they offer on the inside is similar to what you would get in a sedan costing half as much, while they gulp far more fuel and look quite ungainly in the process. The class leading Honda CR-V is a classic example.

True, the X1 is also a little comical to look at, but so was Marty Feldman. And he delivered the goods, didn’t he? I’d say so.

I have always believed that the Bangle-treatment was actually quite nice. The E60/61 5 Series was, yes, eccentric, but it was also quite individualistic and looked rather saucy. The Mercedes E Class always had an old-man’s look to it, and the Audi A6, in comparison, was, honestly put, lifeless. I also liked the 3 Series a lot, but then it all started to go wrong for BMW – the X6, for example. What was the need? The X6 was not just an ugly looking vehicle, but it also suffered from an identity crisis. And just when I was forgiving BMW, they took the wraps off the X3. Blimey!

With the new-gen cars, BMW have been trying hard to get a handle on this problem, but they haven’t succeeded entirely. The Z4 looks stunning, but only when it’s topless. The new 5 Series looks odd with its front end protruding like a fat man’s nostrils, and the GT, overall, is simply ugly. Even the stately 7 Series isn’t as stately as it once was. The X1 continues where the X3 left off, and follows the GT in giving BMW’s a unique identity – which is, frankly, being strangely odd to look at.

There are a few design elements that stand out in the X1 though – the wheel arches, for instance, are distinctive and muscular – even the 17-inch runflats aren’t sufficient to fill that space properly. And, I must confess, I have a fetish for muscular lines on a car, and the X1 delivers on that front – that gorgeous crease on the bonnet is certainly a conversation-starter. But overall, the design isn’t exactly cohesive enough to be termed as striking. The X1 also feels the size it is – which basically means it’s rather small for a crossover, but it’s dimensionally perfect to manage on Indian roads.

And, if you recall, Marty Feldman has never been your classic good looking guy, but he had so much substance that he’s now even considered sexy by many. In addition to being Devbagh, the X1 is also the Marty Feldman of the motoring world – comically brilliant and brilliantly comical in a way. So, it’s not only interesting, but also substantive.

And it’s purely the substance that matters, which the X1 can lay claim to easily. On the inside, it’s exactly the stuff that BMW’s are made of, which is to say the interior quality is very high. The plastics are nice and soft, while the layout is done in such a way that the centre console is tilted in favour of the driver just a bit – affirming the driver-focussed nature BMWs have offered since as long as I can recall. The seats are fantastic, and offer great support overall. The space, though, is at best moderate, and the rear especially could do with a bit more if I’m honest.

We were driving the petrol, and in this (base) trim the X1 is a little agricultural. It’s a comparative statement really – pitting the X1 against its rivals. Yes, there are creature comforts – like electric seats and a multifunction steering wheel – but these are just concessions. This price point has the potential to offer a great deal more, such as a touch-screen interface for an array of entertainment options, sat-nav, and a whole lot more. And I don’t think I’m being too critical either – the point is that if you’re capable enough of having this car in your garage, the demographics suggest that you live your life via one of those fancy smartphones. That also means you’re a fair bit into technology. Get my point? And this is the reason that it’s actually the more powerful diesel Highline, featuring iDrive and other goodies (at R 8 lakhs more), which is actually flying off the showroom floor in greater numbers than the R 22 lakh (ex-showroom) entry-level petrol version that we have here.

Moreover, the diesel mill we know is extremely tractable and responsive, and while the four-cylinder petrol is actually quite refined and silky smooth, it lacks outright zest – it’s emotionless. Imagine getting served breakfast by your pet robot. It does the job alright, but is extremely dull and, er, robotic while it’s at it. There no underlying emotion to it. You’d prefer the scolding from your mother, or the hurried instructions from your wife when running late for office. The X1’s petrol engine is simply the robot. It works well, but there’s no emotion when you bury the right foot deeper. It has no soul. It’s monotonous, and monotony is boring!

But when it comes to dancing on the road, oh Lord does it do a Shakira! It’s very composed most of the time – stable, confident and in control. But get a little naughty, and the X1 will readily go dancing skirt-up. Like all BMW’s, it enjoys corners, and the grip from those 225-section tyres is inspiring to say the least. You can actually feel the DSC giving it everything to maintain the composure of the chassis. It is, however, possible to kick the tail out in this one. Just turn off the traction control (DTC, in BMW lingo), and put an instant smile on your face – before you go heading off into a wall anyway.

Alright, I give you that the ride may, at first, appear to be a bit firm, but the suspension is actually brilliantly set-up to go long distances. It absorbed everything we threw at it, without being irritatingly firm as some BMW’s off late have been accused of being.

I like the X1, but I wouldn’t want one (not that I have the money) because I know BMW makes such a car as the 3 series. The X1 doesn’t have any design breakthroughs or eccentric elements to make them stand as clear USPs. It’s just a regular car. No trick suspension, no technology-obsessed nanny guiding you through the million gear-change settings. It’s an honest-to-goodness car that’s made for today. And it’s almost completely made for the road – perhaps the odd easy trail if and when you decide to go off it.

The BMW X1 is a giggle. It’s not a serious car, and it doesn’t want you to think it is. The trouble is, you want the world to see you as an interesting person – it’s a lifestyle thing, people working with market research companies tell me. And, your choice of car is the most important outward expression you can make in that regard. Yes, the X1 is interesting in itself, but I can’t say how much of that trait it would transfer onto the personality of its owner. It is, nevertheless, an interesting option in a sea of uninspiring crossovers.

BMW’s existing X-range makes for one-fifth of BMW’s global sales. And with the X1, BMW has managed to make the brand that much more accessible to that many more people.

Now, back to where I started – 12 Monkeys. No, the X1 is nowhere near as serious and glum. It’s more witty and weird. It’s more like a stupid comedy that you’d love to watch time-and-time again. It’s Eurotrip. Go, watch it.